love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
