My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
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