Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Randomize
