did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
