how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
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