i just google imaged poop.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
