Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
