She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
