Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
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