I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Randomize
