I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
