Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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