They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize