The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
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