I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
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