Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
