in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
