we have officially lost it.
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
