on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
