She is in my trunk
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize