we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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