He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
