MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Randomize
