In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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