Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I'm both gender and math confused
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
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