I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
