i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
