OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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