ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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