I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
