no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Randomize
