Texts From Last Night

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  (310): View more from California

  This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder

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  (310): This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder http://tfl.nu/q5de
  Replies (4) Good night (728) Bad night (1568)
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  (720): View more from Colorado

  I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.

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  (720): I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn. http://tfl.nu/6oei
  Replies (8) Good night (2595) Bad night (601)
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  (727): View more from Florida

  I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up

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  (727): I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up http://tfl.nu/lw6q
  Replies (10) Good night (3589) Bad night (505)
• Favorite

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!

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  (732): Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?! http://tfl.nu/h8uq
  Replies (10) Good night (758) Bad night (4369)
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  (416): View more from Toronto

  you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.

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  (416): you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall. http://tfl.nu/i92r
  Replies (11) Good night (4413) Bad night (888)
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...

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  (919): I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend... http://tfl.nu/oued
  Replies (10) Good night (4324) Bad night (950)
• Favorite

  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face

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  (413): I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face http://tfl.nu/hkq0
  Replies (5) Good night (2251) Bad night (550)
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  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night

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  (608): Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night http://tfl.nu/2p0f
  Replies (1) Good night (1342) Bad night (627)
• Favorite

  (803): View more from South Carolina

  The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.

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  (803): The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood. http://tfl.nu/3s7a
  Replies (6) Good night (2182) Bad night (720)
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  (361): View more from Texas

  Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.

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  (361): Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war. http://tfl.nu/2o17
  Replies (8) Good night (1605) Bad night (608)
• Favorite

  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.

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  (814): BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team. http://tfl.nu/tfzh
  Replies (2) Good night (1395) Bad night (453)
• Favorite

  (252): View more from North Carolina

  We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground

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  (252): We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground http://tfl.nu/v1ru
  Replies (8) Good night (1913) Bad night (408)
• Favorite

  (845): View more from New York

  I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.

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  (845): I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent. http://tfl.nu/v6g7
  Replies (9) Good night (365) Bad night (624)
• Favorite

  (425): View more from Washington

  we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'

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  (425): we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul' http://tfl.nu/04nj
  Replies (3) Good night (991) Bad night (377)
• Favorite

  (801): View more from Utah

  She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.

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  (801): She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch. http://tfl.nu/gwk7
  Replies (3) Good night (863) Bad night (211)

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