Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(415): View more from California

I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.

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(415): I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity. http://tfl.nu/h9r5

Replies (9) Good night (1430) Bad night (546)
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(214): View more from Texas

I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.

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(214): I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution. http://tfl.nu/bahd

Replies (12) Good night (706) Bad night (3962)
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(848): View more from New Jersey

Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand

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(848): Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand http://tfl.nu/3des

Replies (17) Good night (1184) Bad night (5412)
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(480): View more from Arizona

I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.

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(480): I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends. http://tfl.nu/9x75

Replies (11) Good night (890) Bad night (3501)
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(970): View more from Colorado

I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.

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(970): I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff. http://tfl.nu/cfnv

Replies (2) Good night (1380) Bad night (715)
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(519): View more from Ontario

The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs

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(519): The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs http://tfl.nu/wzfm

Replies (4) Good night (1499) Bad night (686)
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(503): View more from Oregon

Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.

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(503): Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination. http://tfl.nu/nd2x

Replies (7) Good night (1599) Bad night (545)
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(970): View more from Colorado

I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.

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(970): I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk. http://tfl.nu/5c91

Replies (11) Good night (1249) Bad night (502)
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(334): View more from Alabama

i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"

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(334): i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?" http://tfl.nu/0fwx

Replies (7) Good night (650) Bad night (1552)
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(902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.

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(902): He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame. http://tfl.nu/bxcb

Replies (5) Good night (1125) Bad night (823)
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(904): View more from Florida

We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy

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(904): We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy http://tfl.nu/uv03

Replies (8) Good night (1359) Bad night (882)
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(801): View more from Utah

I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.

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(801): I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker. http://tfl.nu/s4wz

Replies (2) Good night (582) Bad night (357)
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(740): View more from Ohio

Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.

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(740): Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me. http://tfl.nu/2duy

Replies (0) Good night (474) Bad night (311)
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(905): View more from Ontario

I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving

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(905): I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving http://tfl.nu/6325

Replies (2) Good night (765) Bad night (325)
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(607): View more from New York

Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.

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(607): Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far. http://tfl.nu/v6o0

Replies (0) Good night (357) Bad night (691)

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