Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(615): View more from Tennessee

I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...

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(615): I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look... http://tfl.nu/yc9r

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?

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(412): do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister? http://tfl.nu/on91

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(740): View more from Ohio

needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again

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(740): needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again http://tfl.nu/we2r

Replies (38) Good night (785) Bad night (4502)
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(203): View more from Connecticut

I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me

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(203): I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me http://tfl.nu/osg9

Replies (45) Good night (8108) Bad night (1331)
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(716): View more from New York

the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..

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(716): the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is.. http://tfl.nu/mon5

Replies (14) Good night (9996) Bad night (1179)
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(908): View more from New Jersey

you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could

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(908): you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could http://tfl.nu/ea9t

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(902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.

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(902): I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence. http://tfl.nu/pvbz

Replies (11) Good night (5491) Bad night (969)
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(501): View more from Arkansas

Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..

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(501): Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him.. http://tfl.nu/3vco

Replies (7) Good night (1712) Bad night (667)
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(701): View more from North Dakota

He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!

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(701): He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time! http://tfl.nu/6xbr

Replies (27) Good night (2215) Bad night (957)
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(443): View more from Maryland

He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.

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(443): He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us. http://tfl.nu/2gzn

Replies (7) Good night (1145) Bad night (1071)
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(206): View more from Washington

when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.

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(206): when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other. http://tfl.nu/no1k

Replies (9) Good night (1886) Bad night (731)
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(507): View more from Minnesota

My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.

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(507): My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu. http://tfl.nu/j0iq

Replies (8) Good night (866) Bad night (1326)
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(267): View more from Pennsylvania

No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.

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(267): No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool. http://tfl.nu/pfhs

Replies (20) Good night (840) Bad night (2106)
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(360): View more from Washington

You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod

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(360): You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod http://tfl.nu/fakl

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(205): View more from Alabama

So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?

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(205): So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before? http://tfl.nu/4yy3

Replies (2) Good night (668) Bad night (169)

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