Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
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there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
These Are The 21 Strangest Sexual Fantasy Confessions
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long