Texts From Last Night

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  (281): View more from Texas

  How do you jack off and text at the same time?

  (1-281): View more from Texas

  On my iPhone they have an app for that

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  (281): How do you jack off and text at the same time? (1-281): On my iPhone they have an app for that http://tfl.nu/2tk7
  Replies (84) Good night (31666) Bad night (1977)
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  (310): View more from California

  So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers

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  (310): So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers http://tfl.nu/ezh2
  Replies (1) Good night (2015) Bad night (512)
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  (212): View more from New York

  You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.

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  (212): You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin. http://tfl.nu/5eus
  Replies (15) Good night (857) Bad night (4678)
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  (551): View more from New Jersey

  1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.

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  (551): 1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one. http://tfl.nu/vtrz
  Replies (51) Good night (6098) Bad night (760)
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  (636): View more from Missouri

  Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".

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  (636): Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional". http://tfl.nu/cis7
  Replies (10) Good night (4395) Bad night (716)
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  (260): View more from Indiana

  dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?

  (1-260): View more from Indiana

  what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing

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  (260): dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian? (1-260): what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing http://tfl.nu/axih
  Replies (51) Good night (18257) Bad night (1294)
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.

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  (860): The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up. http://tfl.nu/uswo
  Replies (14) Good night (1306) Bad night (4331)
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  (347): View more from New York

  sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.

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  (347): sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things. http://tfl.nu/13io
  Replies (36) Good night (8286) Bad night (1239)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.

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  (847): I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand. http://tfl.nu/1517
  Replies (6) Good night (2833) Bad night (874)
• Favorite

  (907): View more from Alaska

  I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him

  (307): View more from Wyoming

  Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere

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  (907): I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him (307): Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere http://tfl.nu/182x
  Replies (4) Good night (1126) Bad night (515)
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  (708): View more from Illinois

  I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.

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  (708): I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily. http://tfl.nu/de3q
  Replies (3) Good night (2032) Bad night (487)
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  (605): View more from South Dakota

  Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.

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  (605): Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life. http://tfl.nu/vnig
  Replies (1) Good night (423) Bad night (1047)
• Favorite

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us

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  (508): I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us http://tfl.nu/g48g
  Replies (6) Good night (1039) Bad night (307)
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  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.

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  (715): Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high. http://tfl.nu/e7wb
  Replies (4) Good night (504) Bad night (341)
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  (989): View more from Michigan

  We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.

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  (989): We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart. http://tfl.nu/g13u
  Replies (2) Good night (546) Bad night (237)

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