She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
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