Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Randomize
