is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize
