just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Randomize
