Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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