thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
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