Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
