Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
