She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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