Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Randomize
