a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Boobs are out for the taking
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
