we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
