I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
