I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
