We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
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