He is such a slut. More and more my type.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Randomize
