peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
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