Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I pour the whiskey from now on
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
