the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
