What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
