She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
