and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
