awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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