i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
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