your parents love me but you hate me
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
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