so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
I have demons in me.
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol